8 Reasons Why a Woman is Not Aroused?

Why a Woman Doesn't Get Aroused?

Natalia Samoylova

Psychologist

Published:

31 July 2023
Updated:

17 November 2024

To begin with, the arousal process in men and women is different. Men can get an erection at the sight of a woman's body, an external indicator of arousal.

In women, when arousal occurs vaginal lubrication, but visually it is not visible in most cases. In general, female arousal is longer and depends on various factors that can both promote and inhibit arousal.

8 Reasons Why a Woman is Not Aroused?

Let's look at the reasons why a woman is not aroused:

She needs more time to become aroused. A woman's body needs to be prepared to take a man inside her. Her vagina needs to become moist, then the sensation of the penis inside gives her pleasure. For this purpose, there is a stage of preliminary caresses, where a woman's arousal picks up the right momentum. Please note that most women need FOREPLAY to become aroused and should NOT skip it.

This is your new partner. First sexual encounters with a new person can be awkward. Partners may feel confused and compare themselves to previous partners. Therefore, you can ask the woman about her sexual preferences, try them, and clarify how much they please her.

She is physically tired. It can be fatigue from an intense day, accumulated exhaustion, or a consequence of the menstrual cycle period. If a woman feels that her well-being is valued by her partner and he does not insist on sex at all costs, it will be easier for her to relax and be frank.

She is thinking about something. It could be problems at work or a fight with her parents that she's thinking about and can't switch to sex, communicate with your partner and ask if she is in the mood for sex. Maybe she wants to share the news bothering her or lie in your arms.

You are in a long-term relationship. Even in the best relationships, there are times when both partners experience a decrease in sexual interest. This is normal for both genders. The daily routine has consumed your woman, and to break free from it and regain her libido, it is necessary to pay attention to this and talk to her about it. For example, you can divide up the work. Perhaps your woman has taken on all the burdens of household chores and no longer has the energy for sex.

Sex without emotions. You don't express your emotions during sex, and the woman doesn't feel wanted without this. The most common complaint from women is that men show affection solely for the purpose of having sex. When this happens, it feels like the woman is a mechanism, where the man is looking for different points to press or touch in order to "turn her on." The man forgets that sex is in the mind and in emotions.

If a woman does not want sex but agrees to it. Sometimes a man insists on sex, and the woman agrees to it just to quickly get it over with. If this happens frequently, sex starts to be associated with unpleasant feelings and a sense of duty. Men, please do not force your women to have sex. It is better to find out the reason for their lack of desire.

The role of a mother. Men often refer to their women as "mom" after the birth of their children. And you don't sleep with your "mom"! Therefore, the woman stops perceiving the man as a sexual partner. The role of a wife and a sexual partner should not overlap with the role of a "mom."

A woman's arousal is closely related to the possibility of being sincere with her partner: the feeling of trust and acceptance. If there are difficulties with these topics in a couple, you can consult a psychologist or sexologist.

Sources

Female sexual dysfunction: A potential minefield
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9890990/

Female sexual arousal disorder
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sexual_arousal_disorder

Female sexual problems I: Loss of desire—what about the fun?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1114537/

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