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Sexual Shame: The Most Common Causes

psychiatrist, sexologist, psychotherapist
  • Published:
    24 July 2023
  • Updated:
    08 November 2023
Sexual Shame

Shame in sex happens to women and men equally. But women's shame in sex, unlike men's, is more socially accepted.

What is sexual shyness associated with?

Shame is often associated with "innocence", "purity", and "immaturity", and these characteristics do not fit the image of male behavior in sex.

That's why men seem to have nothing to be ashamed of.

The most common causes of shame

  • You consider yourself unattractive in appearance, complex because of body imperfections, and penis size.
  • If you have no experience or little experience and are ashamed of it. You think that your partner knows better what to do and how to do it, and you are just not the same / not such since it "does not go in", trying to adapt instead of studying and analyzing your feelings.
  • You think only about how to please your partner, and you don't think about yourself. 
  • There is a lack of sex education. Sex was frightened as a punishment, told that it is "dirty", and disgusting, or nothing was said.
  • When the relationship is already a long time, you begin to understand yourself and even understand what you want. But how to explain the previous silence? It can be frustrating for the partner to find out that all this time, it turns out, was not very.
How to cope with shame in sex we will tell further.

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