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Why is Sex Bad?

psychiatrist, sexologist, psychotherapist
  • Published:
    28 April 2023
  • Updated:
    07 December 2023
Bad Sex

Before looking for reasons for bad sex, we must define the term. Sex is bad if at least one of the partners, instead of enjoying sex, feels sensations and disappointment. What are the causes?

The Most Common Reasons for Bad Sex

  • Hygiene, or rather its absence, can turn away a partner not only from sex but also from communication.  Therefore, it is necessary to wash and brush your teeth regularly, including before sex. In addition to "smells," communication difficulties, and refusal of sex by the partner, the lack of hygiene threatens infection with fungi and bacteria.
  • Inattention to the partner. When one partner cares only about their sensations and pleasure, people often complain that they feel lonely in sex because the partner "works out" the program without paying attention to how the other reacts.
  • Pain during sex. Painful discomfort is always stronger than sexual arousal. Ignoring the pain will eventually turn into refusing sex.
  • Boredom. When one partner catches himself thinking about upcoming negotiations or what coat to wear to work tomorrow then boredom has kicked in. Losing the joint setting builds up the arousal cycle, and one of the partners "falls out.
  • Dissatisfaction with one's body leads to embarrassment in front of a partner. Instead of giving themselves entirely to the sensations, a woman or a man feels embarrassed for being overweight, having short legs, a small penis, an ugly shape of breasts, etc. The quality of sex directly depends on inner freedom and relaxation, and if a man thinks about his "shortcomings," the desire will disappear.
  • Conflicts. Most people do not like sex after an argument. The offended partner may perceive sex as a way to get back at the other. Also, extraneous thoughts, resentment, and irritation silence unresolved issues and block pleasurable feelings.
  • Routine. Year after year, having sex in the same position with the same caresses and words, feelings gradually disappear. That is why finding ways to excite new words, positions, places, and toys is so important.
  • Medical problems. If they are there and bring discomfort during sex, you need to solve these difficulties together. For example, try a gentle position or a more comfortable place, use more lubricant, other types of sex, or less aggressive caresses.
  • Excessive fascination with porn and the desire to conform to an imaginary picture often leads not to a variety in sex but actually on the contrary - to its deterioration. It is important to remember that the actors act most of the time in porn, and a video that is 30 minutes long is shot in a few weeks, so it is virtually impossible to repeat what is in the video.

The solution to any problem in sex should always start with dialogue. If you can't discuss these issues alone, see a sex therapist.

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